There was a fist fight in my basement last night at four in the morning, in case you were wondering
Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
I wish I had a waterproof laptop so that I would watch porn in the shower.
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
You know I love you more than life itself, but love has its limits. And so help me god, if you bail on me, I will fucking watch the last Game of Thrones episode without you.
"can you come pick me up from the ikea parking garage i think i slept here"
Another thing to add to the list of things not to do while I'm drunk......explain to the upstairs neighborr how to have quiet orgasams......she now thinks I want to be part of a threesome......fuck my life
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
I'm at home, drunk, and I just called the guy I lost my virginity to and invited him to my wedding.. I've got to stop drinking by myself.
Randomize
