Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
Ran into that hot funeral director in the bar two days after the wake. pretty sure we drunk made out.
Grandpa would have been proud
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
My ex is stopping by while he’s working tonight after delivering a pizza to fuck me, then going back to work at Pizza Hut. This is what my life has become.
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
Randomize