i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
Drunk me thinks I can light up a cig anywhere, sober me finds this hilarious and highly irresponsible. The grocery store is not a bar.
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
That moment when your mom is so drunk she makes you get out of bed to lay in her bed because she thinks it feels like sleeping on a marshmallow peep....
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
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