im sitting at a bagel shop wearing a princess crown hungover and have a sweater that is not mine.
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
He snapchatted me the wine on the ceiling this morning
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
I have drunkenly angered a family of raccoons. Please send help immediately.
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
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