life lesson #1: a fart during an awkward silence between 2 strangers doesnt make it less awkward.
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
They told me I stole 50 buns and a bottle of mayo and would whisper in their ears to look under my shirt to see what was for breakfast... benefit of starting to drink at 9 am
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
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