not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
let's get her a shirt that says "i went to key west for spring break and all i got was this illegitimate child."
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
23 Absolutely Despicable Things That People Have Actually Done
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
25 Disturbing Facts That Will Make You Question Everything
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster