ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
Am I really in your phone as Asshole Jesus??
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
I just watched your sister pour half a bottle of cotton candy flavored snow cone syrup into a bottle of marshmallow flavored vodka, take a swig, frown, and pour a cherry coke in.
Just wait until she offers you a "powerita"