she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
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I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
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I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
Walked into the bathroom and saw a Minion eating out Harley Quinn so this Halloween will be hard to top.
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?