forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
peeing in bathroom at penn station and the homeless man next to me is combing his beard with a fork...god I love new york
So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help