I'm gonna get wrecked tn I might have to keep my phone at home cause I'm sure ill send you really weird txts
When are you freeeeeeeeee?
My phone auto corrected that to freeeeeeeeeedoooooooooom. That's kinda awesome.
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
I'm using emojis for drug deals now. It's time to kill me.
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
Randomize