started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
Meanwhile she's getting her law degree and I'm dropping Cool Ranch Doritos down my bra because I'm laying down eating on the couch
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
We are totally like Jim and Pam, except ya know, drunk and not together anymore.
Randomize
