wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
Just fucked up my mustache shaving, gonna have to take it off because now it makes me look like a pedophile
FYI your old mustache made you look like a pedophile
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
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