hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
Ever had one of those went so hard last night you woke up at the foot of the bed naked wondering where your phone ended up?
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
After I spend a passionate night with my vibrator, I have to awake and face my stuffed animals. Their beady eyes are full of shame and disappointmet. I can't deal with that level of judgement.
Randomize