am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
he is the anna nicole to my 90 year-old billionaire. i'm grateful that he's fucking me, so i'm buying him shit.
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
This beer is not sobering me up at all
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
Randomize
