what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
my roommate just caught me washing a dildo in the sink.
theres no point in washing my sheets anymore. its always going to be a fine layer of booze and semen.
I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
I DMed the cop that arrested me to come unlock my keys out if my car today
So you're at your daughter's volleyball game looking at dicks online? That's amazing.
No, I was picking her up from volleyball and sitting in my car looking at dicks.
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
Nothing wrong with a little cat scratch fever. You have toys?
A few, plus a dildo molded from a porn star that I've always been too intimidated of to actually use, but it's the apocalypse, and momma didn't raise no quitter.
Randomize
