Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
You don't take my phone while I'm passed out, have a three hour conversation on it with Dealer Dave, set up a date with him and NOT TELL HIM THAT HE'S NOT TALKING TO ME.
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
Walked off the dance floor to find Gabe hitting on a dad bod at the bar. It was my Dad. Awkward is an understatement.
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