i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
I am sitting here. Drinking from a bottle of vodka. Eating shredded cheese from a bag and waiting on him to pick me up after he finishes with his girlfriend. This is what dreams are made of.
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
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