I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
Randomize
