Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
He turned on read receipts specifically so i'd know he was ignoring me.
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
I get sad thinking about all the sex I’m missing out on because of the virus
I instituted “quarantine and chill” months ago. It’s not like penises go soft just because they’re working at home.
Randomize
