When my options for Friday night are being a 3rd wheel or bringing a gay man as my date i need to focus on other things in life like having a successful career.
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
You were stoned out of your mind. We were eating cold cuts and you wouldn't shut up about how it was the wettest meat you'd ever felt in your life.
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
Randomize
