Just saw a man being put through a dui test on the side of the road... it was noon and he was on a bicycle. God bless texas.
I need to move out. I just walk of shamed my way into a family breakfast party. There's no response when grandma says "where you coming from in heels at 9AM?"
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
She got turned on by my fanny pack full of condoms. I can't believe you said it was a bad idea to wear it to the party.
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
The girl in line in front of me at the grocery store is buying wine, m&m minis, a toothbrush, and condoms. Is it inappropriate to high-five her?
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
Randomize
