Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
I'm still drunk. I put on workout clothes this morning and just puked in my bathroom. That's the same as going to the gym, right?
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
Randomize
