I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
A man pulled out his penis last night and when I said I wouldn't touch it, he said, "that's fine it just needs to breathe".
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
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