Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
I queefed so loud it echoed.
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
Randomize
