i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
Apparently telling a group of crying girls that it looks like they need a visit from Dr. Phil isn't the best pickup line.
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
I'll have to text you later. Trying to have civilized conversations with the boyfriends parents when I'm 100% aware I just blew their son in the bathroom 5 mins ago. Stay tuned.
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
Randomize
