I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
Randomize
