Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
I was scoping hash out of our weed jar with a spoon and I realized we need to buy actual utensils. This plastic shit is killing me I've broke 3 spoons
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
Malibu has added tequila to its rum. It's like when two beautiful gaybies come together an spawn a unicorn that only cries jellybean tears.
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
Ah, drunk me ordered sushi at 3 a.m. for sober me's lunch the next day. EXCELLENT
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
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