you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
it's great music for shaving your balls
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
I see more hoeing in ur future
Randomize