i keep telling myself in the mirror "get undrunk"
she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
There was jim beam in your oven. I just preheated it.
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
Now when you said you'd never sleep with me, did you really mean never on a Monday or never without handcuffs or a blindfold or never on a airplane or never without lots of booze? Cus never is a pretty strong word.
My uber driver just told me I smell like fun...still drunk at 7 am
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize
