question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
Woke up this morning on my couch at 6am fully dressed including heels, holding half a corn dog. I called you last night when I was buying the corn dog from a street vendor, I think.
I am in love with you.
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
Randomize
