As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
I saw his package. It spoke to me.
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
It was one time. Now I have to constantly remind her my name is Jessica not Jizzica.
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
And I swear to god I'll divorce you if you so much as say a single sentence in Yoda talk in our bedroom. I may be a nerd but that's just fucking creepy
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
Randomize
