Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
Randomize
