ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
My friend's 9-year-old son just informed me that for a cop station, you can't use a shotgun; you have to use a machine gun. Thank you, Grand Theft Auto, for single-handedly corrupting our youth.
I just realized that "Hey girl, when you gonna let me tap that?" is in iambic pentameter. I'm going to write a poem...
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
Randomize
