six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
you didnt know i had herpes?
At chipotle, there's a bachelorette party starting out the night here, i'm going to let you imagine what the bride to be looks like
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
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