Hey dude. Went to the hospital. Call me when you get up
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently I came into our room and told her that there should be a zipline from our window to Walgreens so that I could get chicken noodle soup
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
Is it acceptable to pay for WiFi on flights solely for the purpose of getting on Tinder to find a sugar daddy on the plane that doesn’t mind upgrading me to first class?
Do it. You’re flying for two weddings. You’re gonna need that first class.
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
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