You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
Got a blowie from her in the cab on the way home. Made awkward eye contact with the cabbie who said, and I quote "Keep the mess in her mouth bro", I did so only out of respect
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
Highlight of my night: you taking that shot of garlic butter and then throwing the empty container down on the stairs and saying FUCK.
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
I love you. Go after that dick
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
Uber southern baptist grandma and uber flaming cousin just got into an argument about whether jesus is OK with gay marriage. Aren't these things only supposed to happen at Thanksgiving?
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
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