i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
holy shit I just remembered that story I told about Tom hanks going bowling while high.
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
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