Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
Do you realize that we tried to rent a limo at 5am to come and take us to waffle house?
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
I just puked in my courtyard and dripped toothpaste in my chest hair. You better be getting laid or this drunk is wasted.
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
Think of it as a business transaction. That's how I justify all the horrible things I do. Blow my married boss? Just a business transaction.
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
If you don't sing 'dust in the wind' at my funeral, I'll haunt you forever
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