He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
I'm tuning in to watch Heidi Montag crash and burn on the Miss Universe Pageant. Somebody call 911. and I'm not talking about the Sean Kingston song.
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
I woke up in a house cuddled up with a beagle on a futon. have no idea who anyone is but they all call me stretch. yeaaahhh boiiiiii
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
He woke up to me masturbating during the presidential address. Now he won't stop making jokes.
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
Randomize
