Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
I'm at subway, this 8 year old kid is judging my fashion sense with his dad. I want to kill myself.
It's ok, he's just 8, he's not judging you.
He just asked why I'm sitting alone. I honestly want to cry.
trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
I've been reduced to Capt. Morgan and Golden Girls reruns. Ugh.
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I just slapped my cat in the face with my dildo. You were the only one I could tell.
He probs deserved it.
Every good man does.
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
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just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
I woke up this morning to pee and six dollar bills fell out of my underwear. I guess that lap dance just bought me lunch.
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