I'm going to jail i love you
i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
There are dudes in kilts outside my window practicing fire breathing with cheap vodka and a modified grill lighter. I thought you should know.
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
Apparently i tried to feed this guy's piranhas my whole left arm.. according to him, i was "showing them whos boss, bc if they try to eat my arm, im guna punch their face"
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
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