Why don't I have your new number? And who have I been texting?
There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
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