I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
i would one night stand the shit outta him
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
For now I'm a single mom monday-thursday and a drunk looking for dick the rest of the week
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
Randomize
