I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
Randomize
