Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
Acid is not a monday night drug
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
Is it penis luge time yet?
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
BRING THE BAGELS
I just need you to stay far enough away that I can't smell your cologne. I completely forget that I fucking hate you as soon as I smell it.
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
The cop was standing next to me when I texted "haha" to your phone...didn't realize that he had taken it already...
I just sharted for the first time in my life. Age 33. Lying in bed. Sober. 2021 is off to a great start!
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