I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
Just woke up wearing a top hat and simpsons boxers. i also found more money in my wallet then what i had before going out, about $1000 more
i can't believe i haven't brushed my teeth. and i just kissed my grandma. I'm going to hell.
You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
Randomize
