It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
So, I just ordered a breathalyzer for this weekend. I figured if I'm getting shitfaced, I should at least be scientific about it.
I feel like that japanese guy who ate all the hotdogs. Except replace hotdogs with sailor jerrys. And instead of a trophy and world record I just get a hangover at work
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