This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
It was the best present I've gotten since I was 5 and I got a fucking easy bake oven. I'm not pregnant for realsies. Celebratory party at the house tonight. Invite all the nice dicks you know.
Unintentional and slightly frustrating adventures are basically all I'm good for. Expect heart palpitations, cheap food, and homeless men serenading us.
Hey, I think I showed you a picture of my nephew while we were fucking last night. Sorry, I know it's weird, I just really love that kid. Again, sorry.
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
Verdict: uncircumcised.
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
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