the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
The sales associate looked at me funny for wobbling in the heels i was trying on until i told her i was trying to see how well i'd be able to drunk walk in these tonight
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
At the ER. John needs stiches. Fuck pub trivia nights.
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
It's my birthday weekend! I'm getting a Brazilian and he's going to fucking Arkansas. Where the fuck are his priorities?
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself