My nipple is on Facebook.
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
Keanu Reeves Photobombed A Couple’s Wedding Photos As A Perfect Gift
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
29 Married People Share What They Used To Find Cute About Their SO—But Now Find Infuriating
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
I am now "wine pairing" tums flavors with my strongbow, because apparently hard cider gives me heartburn.
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself