so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
You know its bad when convincing your mother you were masturbating is the better alternative
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
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