Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
when I was too drunk to walk on my own two feet, he stole a shopping cart from the grocery store at the corner and proceeded to wheel me back to my apartment.
Then he tucked me in, gave me a goodnight kiss and slept on my sofa. I woke up this morning and he was making waffles.
he is a god among men.
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
Omg worst high ever. I'm watching Parks and Rec, and all i can think about is how andy, leslie, and tom are my closest friends. Forever alone.
Randomize
