it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
He thought he was drowning because he was drinking water and intentionally holding his breath. Dear god what did you get me in to.
Oh and now he's calling me Brohammed Ali.
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
sitting in a shitty karaoke bar playing pokemon go and drinking a mimosa. how is your sunday night
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
I shamewalked barefoot this morning and the Dos Equis delivery guy judged the shit out of me.
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