at some point when you're making out with the ex girlfriend of your ex fuck buddy who happens to be the ex boyfriend of the girl that you just got drunk with who was hitting on your current fuck buddy who is best friends with your ex boyfriend, it just hits you: oh my god i need to get out more and expand my social circle.
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
definitely just fell out of bed trying to plug in my phone. when did laziness start getting painful?
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
