I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
my mothers day present is going to be not puking at the table during brunch
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
I'm only texting you this bc god forbid circumstances change when you wake up but currently santa is asleep on top of the washer and dryer.
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
Randomize
