can you have the cops turn on the gps locator on my phone...i just woke up in a Hooters uniform and I have no idea where I am...
last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
Randomize
