false alarm. still invincible.
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pretty sure the guy at the Halloween party dressed as an ice cream man is working his way through the building without a care for gender or age. He high-fives me on his way out each morning.
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
I just gave myself a foot massage. #SingleAsFuck
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
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