Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
I JUST SENT A TOILET SELFIE TO THE WRONG PERSON.
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
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