Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
I just creeped on air mattress guy's facebook and discovered his ex is the trifecta of evil: tiny, cute, and blonde.
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
Unlike bears, this weekend is not the #1 threat to America. It is, however, the #1 threat to my liver
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
Randomize
