this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
So I passed out with my boxers on in the hotel jacuzzi at 5am.. The manager who kicked me out was pretty cute so I left my name and number for her at the front desk. I'm giving it a 50/50 she calls.
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
I like to imagine god has to get plastered to deal with the fact that he made you and me
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
If I don't wake up tomorrow you inherit my paycheck and can only spend it at cinnabon
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
Randomize
