she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
My Mom bought me a vibrating toothbrush. Maybe this is her way of apologizing for throwing away my other thing that vibrated.
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
I guess I’m only into threesomes at Halloween, because I just woke up next to “Marilyn Monroe” and “Joe DiMaggio” in their condo
Randomize
