I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Finished my senior thesis. How am I celebrating you ask? By drinking gas station white zif out of an empty candle holder by myself. I fucking deserve to graduate.
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I started scrolling back in our texts looking for context and a picture of your dick rose like the Great Pumpkin in the middle of my screen.
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
You called me your momma bear, and then demanded more vodka
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
Randomize